Hold the phone

I start med school in 5 month...I am really going to have to get good at time management cause I can blow through 5 months so quickly. I still have a ton of research to do followed by writing. The trip I had planned to take before starting (which was mentally scrapped when my mom was diagnosed) is now completely impossible. And after this upcoming trip home, there is potentially only one more before I put on the white coat paired with a name tag that reads "Student Doctor" as my title. I should probably also attempt to start waking up in the morning before 9am which means going to bed before 3 or 4am.

In less than 12 hours, my mom starts her new batch of chemo drugs. This begins the remaining 12 weeks of her chemotherapy treatment. 12. It seems like such a long time and I am sure much longer to her. If this regimen is near as bad as what the last was, I hope that she has the strength and determination to see it through. The last brought her unimaginable pain to the point she told me there were several times she thought she was dying. It has also cast a shadow over my mom causing her to be depressed and pessimistic. I am trying to prepare myself for the changes I will see in my mom when I come home for break. I know the hair is gone, her cheeks are swollen from the chemo, her body is rather week from the beating it has taken and her skin tone has sallowed. Projecting these things on my mom coupled with her change in attitude has been a struggle. No matter how I prepare, I am sure the reality will be a shock. 12 weeks. At the end of these, who knows whether the woman my mom really is will be able to resurface.