My mom decided not to continue with her chemo treatments today. This drug has effected my mom in so many different ways: physically and emotionally. I have always known her to be a strong, stubborn person but the voice on the phone is void of those qualities. I just want my mom back. I am holding my breath until Monday when we meet with the oncologist to discuss how to proceed. He said today that he would be presenting her with more chemotherapy options but she is pretty set on this being it. Without scans we have no idea the status of the cancer so hopefully he will order those if she opts out of the other chemo options.
As I talked to my mom on the phone tonight, the last shred of composure disappeared. I have suspected for a while that her physical status was causing her to become more and more depressed and it was confirmed tonight. She began talking about not being at certain milestones in our lives or that she would rather Maura and I have her life insurance money than go through the pain she was dealing with. Remaining strong for her is taking its toll on Maura and I and I wish that I didn't live so far away because I think we are stronger together. Hoping that a week is long enough to change my mom's spirits and give Maura a break.
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