Waiting

So I emailed PNWU and found out that I was put on the wait list. There are currently 30 candidates on the list for a 70 seat class. I don't have a very good feeling about getting in this year. I asked what I could do differently to make me a more outstanding candidate and they said that I should retake my MCATs and try and boost my science GPA. I knew my MCATs were low, I took them when I did not have all the classes they suggest but I wanted to just get a feel for it. They also told me to apply earlier which ticks me off cause I turned my application in early and was just waiting for my doctor's letter which he decided to take 3 months to write. Ugh... Another annoyance was that they told me my interview score was low which totally disgusts me cause I felt so good about my interview. Now I feel like I have to change the whole person I am just to impress them.
Honestly I think the "why do you want to be a doctor" question is retarded. It would take me longer than the allotted time for the whole 26 questions to answer this question. I didn't get to tell them about my best friend that died while I was 7 cars behind him and that gut wrenching feeling of wanting to be able to do something but not being capable. I didn't get to tell them about how taking care of Mykenzie when she is sick is what I want to do for the rest of my life because I have seen the terrible side of health that is debilitating. I didn't get to tell them that I watched my grandpa die from Alzheimer's and how scared I am when my mom declares that she thinks she has signs of it. My whole life has made me want to be a doctor and they expect me to explain that in 30 minutes.
I really feel like I failed myself. I so badly wanted to drop out of school last night so I didn't have to come and face all my friends that have been so supportive. I didn't want to respond to texts last night of people asking me if I got a call. I broke down in tears on the bus yesterday because I knew it was after 5pm and they wouldn't be calling. I held out a shred of hope till about 8pm thinking maybe, just maybe they were calling later so hopefully they would reach all the candidates to tell them in person. I really feel like I am on the verge of depression and I just want to get away from everything and everyone. If I could stay locked in my room for like a few months I don't think it would be long enough.
I do have an interview for a med school in Missouri, KCOM, in March but they informed me it would be for a position on the wait list or for next years class. I honestly don't even care anymore. I guess I am not as strong as I thought I was cause right now I am having second thoughts about going to med school. If I did get accepted to KCOM class next year I think I would accept because I honestly don't want to have to take my MCATs again, I felt so unprepared and dumb after I took them. I hate standardized tests, I don't do well really on any kind of tests. I really don't see the link between doing well with organic chemistry and being a good doctor. I really feel being a good doctor is about the passion you hold for your profession and the desire to do well. I really believe I have that passion but I guess that I don't make that clear.